Shh. You hear that sound? Those are the wings of SPARROWS OF OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE^©. Decide your own level of difficulty on a realtime basis in this modern, 1970s-arcade-style replay game about exploding, suicidal birds. The mechanics are simple: Spacebar culls a bird from the sky to come hurtling randomly toward the ground while you, Major Parasol, then use your running, jumping, and psychic parasol shooting abilities to repel these spooked, wingéd metaphors toward the source of your crippling depression: Supreme Alien Overlord, Mr. Jelly Toast. And don't get hit by these birds! If you can win, the game will grant you an option to restart with a slightly more coked-out, pissed-off, tricky-to-hit Mr. Jelly Toast. Ad infinitum.